Okay this is the last McDonald's game that I'm aware of. It's definitely going to be the last one I'm playing.
McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure. Don't tell me this is just a Game Gear port.
Treasure Land Adventure, Ronald found a piece of mysterious treasure map while he was out for a walk. And this time Grimace has stumbled upon a suspicious looking box. These people really need to stop picking up crap they find in the forest.
The box says 'DO NOT OPEN!', so of course they immediately want to open it.
In fact, this looks like another bloody treasure map.
Actually Ronald may be a creepy clown, but he's not the kind of guy who'd just abandon his friends in a sinister fantasy world to find their own way out. Except for the time he did that in M.C. Kids. And again in Global Gladiators.
Anyway the point is, he doesn't let other people trap his friends, so he grabs the wizard's stick and jumps in after them.
Well it looks and sounds a lot like Treasure Land, and it has the same music, but it doesn't play like it. Ronald has traded in his scarf and sparkly magic powers for a stick that doubles as an umbrella. Now I have the ability to glide, and to hit enemies that are very very close to me.
Uh, what just killed me?
Oh I see, it was some little demon thing that came out of nowhere. It must have been hovering around the top edge of the screen just out of sight, until it was ready to swoop down and strike. That little flying bastard.
Oh damn, there's a milkshake down there! It took them a few games, but they've finally given in to the temptation of making the player collect actual McDonald's products.
Okay fine, I'll give it another shot. I'm not done with this yet.
I really hope I don't have to hunt one of these down in every level before I can leave. Though I suppose that wouldn't be any worse than collecting Puzzle Cards in M.C. Kids.
I was going the wrong way anyway, I should have turned around and started heading the other way to collect the key first.
I knew I should have gone with 'Don't Games'.
This game is turning into a memory test. Avoid the demon swooping down from off screen... run past the things falling from the trees... dodge the wasps next to the exit. Fortunately when I run out lives I just restart on the same level anyway.
LATER, ON THE NEXT LEVEL.
Great, now I have to do that all again from the start. Again.
Treasure Land. His tongue's hanging out!
I've come to terms with the fact that sometimes trees have eyes, mouths, and occasionally even razor sharp teeth. But trees should not have tongues!
Well I guess we're headed to the Magical Castle then, to take on Mr. Joke and free our friends!
Fuck those guys, they were only holding us back.
Oh crap, the clowns from Treasure Land are back, and this time they seem to be equipped with poison tipped blow darts. Fortunately clowns are like ninjas, the more of them there are in one place, the weaker they get. Ronald always works alone, so I'm pretty sure he can take them.
I have to constantly run forward to get away from this thing, dodging enemies and crap flying at me from the other direction.
So I'm trapped in this tiny level, jumping over chocolate bars and strawberries (and collecting healthy burgers and fries!) hoping that a key will eventually appear and save me.
MUCH MUCH LATER.
The first few times I tried jumping up here I was sucked right back over to the monster. I guess I had to find a way up without relying on the umbrella.
Also, faces belong on cakes even less than they belong on trees, in my humble opinion. I don't like it when my dessert stares at me.
You know, I have to wonder if they deliberately chose to put a food related level in the game to get players hungry. Hungry for McDonald's, for instance.
Just out of curiosity I did try running out of continues before turning it off, but I seem to have infinite. Not even death is an escape from The Magical World.
Shameless Advertising Rating: High. Sure the levels aren't covered in arches like half the other games, but burgers and fries are healing items, and collecting four milkshakes earns Ronald an extra hit point. This is the only McDonald's game (I've played) which promotes their food like this.
Clown Rating: High. Ronald's the player character, and it's clown vs clown again.
I didn't think this wasn't a great game, but it's not that bad either. In fact, all the McDonald's games are fairly playable and some are actually pretty good, y'know for childish platformers designed to trick kids into eating fast food.
But I'm done with them now! No more bloody clown games for me. For a while at least.
Part 1: Donald Land (NES)
Part 2: M.C. Kids (NES)
Part 3: McDonaldland (Game Boy)
Part 4: Global Gladiators (Genesis/Mega Drive)
Part 5: McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure (Genesis/Mega Drive)