Super AiG's Guide to Every (old) James Bond Game Ever, Volume 4
|The actual box art looks a lot better.|
The Stealth Affair was the last Bond game released on home computers for over ten years, as the consoles finally captured the franchise for themselves. Then presumably the franchise was offered dinner and then locked into some kind of easily escapable death trap while the consoles explained all their sinister plans to it.
Game 9 - James Bond 007: The Stealth Affair (1990)
Formats: Amiga, Atari ST, DOS.
This is this DOS version I'm playing by the way.
I'm pressing every button on the keyboard, nothing's skipping it!
Actually now that I think about it, it's not even his car so he probably doesn't give a fuck. Especially considering he just traded it in for a shiny stealth bomber with the same paint job.
How the hell do those windows open like that? Are they sliding through the floor up into the room above? They don't look like they tilt inwards.
This important looking gentleman informs 007 that he's been assigned by MI5 to help the C.I.A. deal with a sensitive situation involving the stolen stealth fighter. I don't know how MI5 got involved in this seeing as Bond works for MI6, but whatever, it wouldn't be the worst slip up this guy's made so far.
EVEN LATER STILL.
And I'm finally able to pick up the damn passport! I tried grabbing the clothes and the magazine as well, but he wasn't interested. I'll have that huge calculator though. If I ever get into trouble I can use it like a brick and lob it at my assailants.
The customs official is holding me hostage for ransom. I honestly can't say I saw this coming.
Wow that really is game over, I lost on the first puzzle. So it's more like a Sierra adventure game than a LucasArts one then I suppose.
Maybe I'll try a French passport next time...
Well I've found my way out of the airport, but there's nowhere to go. Bond just stops at the edge of the screen and won't walk down the street. I guess there's something else I need to do here first.
Oh by the way, the Amiga version of the game has fully voiced dialogue enabled automatically if you have 1mb of ram installed. And I don't mean they hired a group of talented voice actors and a Timothy Dalton impersonator to go through the script. Nope, they just ran every line through a text to speech synthesiser. Seriously, listen to the conversation at CIA HQ yourself with this youtube clip of the intro. It's... amazing, and Amiga owners can't turn it off without opening up their machine and pulling out ram chips.
Well to be fair it wasn't designed to be a James Bond game. This was originally the adventures of John Glames, international fuck-up. Until someone realised that he was such a 007 clone that they could get the licence, stick in an excuse at the start for why he's working for the C.I.A, and they'd barely have to change the rest of the script at all. That's why there's no gun-barrel scene, or Bond theme, or anything relating to the movies.
I think how much you'd get out of this game depends on whether you're more of a LucasArts fan or a Sierra fan when it comes to classic adventure games, because it definitely leans more towards the 'every puzzle is a new chance to die' style of gameplay. Still, you can save any time you want so it's not like it's a massively game-wrecking design choice.
At least I can say with certainty that it is by far the most enjoyable James Bond point and click adventure game ever made, because it's also the only one.
Game 10 - Lord Bromley's Estate / Game 11 - Q's Armoury (1990)
Formats: ZX Spectrum.
These two are lightgun minigames that were bundled with the ZX Spectrum +2 James Bond Action Pack, along with The Living Daylights.
|Lord Bromley's Estate||Q's Armoury|
Lord Bromley's Estate really is an actual Bond game by the way. It starts off with the message:
You, secret agent James Bond, have been invited to Lord Bromley's country estate to do some clay pigeon shooting.
Unfortunately, SPECTRE have other ideas...
Next time, James Bond Jr again. Twice.
Read part five.
Back to part three.