|Developer:||AIM|||||Release Date:||1993|||||Systems:||PC Engine CD|
Today on Super Adventures I'm taking a quick look at Fausseté Amour, which is almost certainly some kind of platformer. Probably.
One of the special talents I possess that sets me apart from the average game writer is my ability to consistently spell 'TurboGrafx' right without looking it up, but it's turning out to be a pretty useless skill seeing as everything I play for the system lately turns out to be exclusive to the Japanese PC Engine version of the machine. Like this for instance.
The title 'Fausseté Amour' on the other hand, I've been having to double check every time. I keep putting in too many 't's or not enough 's's or throwing in an 'r' and changing it to 'armour'. Google Translate tells me that it's French and is pretty close to meaning 'false love'. Which is a bit of a warning sign perhaps, but it's a console game so I'm sure it'll be perfectly wholesome and safe for the whole family to enjoy! Probably.
Like with that Renny Blaster game I played a couple of months back, the developers have used their 700 MB of spare CD storage space to give the game a spoken narration without subtitles, so I have absolutely zero idea who these creatures are, or why I'll likely find one waiting to kill me at the end of each world.
A horde of monsters is attacking a town, with eyeball bats swooping down and preying on the townsfolk as they flee from their burning homes. It's all very straightforward. What I don't get though, is why the cutscene's got a jazz soundtrack.
You know, it occurs to me that we can't see any of the other faces clearly. Maybe this is just some kind of festival. The eyeball bats could be parade balloons, the demons could be in Halloween-style costumes. Us English folk like to celebrate around huge bonfires every 5th of November, so even that's not that weird. This would even explain the music... kind of.
I'm likely making it sound worse than it is, you'll see more flesh in an average comic book, but it's the cutscenes coming up that I'm worried about! It's bad enough sitting through a story I don't understand without the lead character turning out to be the hero's bare ass cheeks.
It's probably for the best that the romance didn't work out though. All their children would've ended up with boring shades of brown hair, setting them apart from the brightly coloured anime aristocracy. They'd have been exiled to the village to live amongst all the other commoners.
She is surprisingly well armoured, though most of it is hanging off her shoulders. Covering up her arms or legs would only slow her down, but it's essential that she has huge metal plates either side of her head, angled to deflect all incoming attacks directly towards her neck.
I'm liking that huge double-bladed staff she's got though. It looks like it could do some serious damage, plus it's colour-coordinated with her outfit!
Okay, what's the gameplay like then?
Oh crap I just realised that they guy I hit looked like a regular human instead of a monster and he wasn't even holding his axe. Well, no body and no witnesses means that it never happened.
At least this gives me an excuse to show off another enemy, which is a some kind of floating dragon... ball that spits out smaller versions of its own heads from its own heads. Fortunately my sword fires diagonally too, so with five or six hits I was able to free him from his nightmarish existence and make the world a little bit safer for commuters.
Nah, this tune is pretty much the opposite of catchy, I think I'd rather throw myself off a cliff.
I'm not sure how I ended up landing on the horn though, she usually has better mid-air steering than that. Perhaps she'll be more agile now that she's done a Ghouls'N Ghosts and dropped the bulky armour.
Big loss, it could only take one hit anyway.
Super Metroid and suffering a complete wardrobe failure on death. I guess the developers were trying to make the game sexier so it'd appeal to that crucial male pervert demographic... they just didn't think it through and ended up producing fan service for necrophiliacs.
By the way, if you see any GIFs like this, cropped down and with the background not moving, then you should be aware that I've edited out the scrolling to keep the filesize down. Thankfully the game designers avoided putting in any multi-layer parallax backgrounds, so that made my job easier. Probably would've made the game look better if they had though.
Plus it turns out that there's no way to jump back out of the hole, as all the platforms are too high up for me to reach. I'm actually stuck down here.
Now I just need to jump again at the highest point of her arc to make it up to the next platform, and... fuck, I missed and fell back down again. I love the idea of this grappling mechanic, but it sure is a pain in the ass to use.
It took me way too long to figure out that I can just hit the attack button mid swing to fling myself into the air as a spinning ball of instant death, like I'm Sonic the Hedgehog. No worries about where I'm landing, as anything I touch like this is obliterated.
And somehow she manages to walk in a straight line afterwards without toppling over dizzy.
LATER, AT THE FIRST BOSS FIGHT.
The guy didn't transform right away, the two of them stood there for a while and had a bit of a chat first, but it was all entirely lost on me. All these PC Engine games I've played and I haven't picked up a word of Japanese from any of them
No idea what's going on here, but at least it looks pretty good. The style suits the system's limitations far better than Renny Blaster's dirty scanned cutscene art.
Castlevania instant-death water knockback trick on me! With armour I can usually survive a single hit, but on this raft even a single mistake is going to send me back to the start of the level.
By the way, that water flickering isn't so bad in the game at the proper framerate. It's a cunning trick used to fake transparency, though it works better on an old CRT screen than a monitor.
Pulling down and attack in mid-air makes our hero spin her blade around, but the orbs power the move up with an extra attack. The green orb for instance gives me three diagonal bullets that can utterly destroy any piranha plant fish that dares to invade my airspace.
Half-Life headcrab here in a 1993 Japanese platformer that he was able to catch me off guard by firing his own tongue at me.
The trouble I'm having here is that I don't know how many hits an enemy type will take. I mean the different types seem consistent, but when I face a new kind of threat I don't know if it's going to take one attack or a half-dozen, and I'm an idiot so I always assume if I hammer the button fast enough I can get them before they get me.
For the sake of science I went and got the hero killed off another 15 times or so and it seems like I very well might have infinite continues here! There's no password or save function so once the machine's off I'm back to square one, but it's only game over when I say it is.
Using a continue put me back at the start of the stage again, but that's nothing new. If the game has checkpoints in it, I haven't found them yet.
EVENTUALLY, AT THE LEVEL 2 BOSS FIGHT.
Hey... I know you from the continue screen I saw earlier! Well her eyes are a different colour, but close enough. I guess it must it must change each level to show the next boss coming up.
I'm only up to the third level, but I'm already getting the feeling that I'm reaching the half-way point. There were five bosses in the intro and I've already killed two of them, so unless there's some kind of twist coming up there's not much left to go.
I've got no interest in actually finishing the game though, so I plan to stick with it until the end of this stage, kill the next boss and then turn it off. Or lose to the next boss, either's good.
You know what I miss? Using the grappling hook move. I had a couple of opportunities early on, but now there's barely any platforms to jump or swing around on. Seem a bit of a wasted mechanic really.
I tried my normal trick of hammering away at the button to kill them before they got another chance to attack, but it didn't work out. Back to the start of the stage again.
A FEW TRIES LATER.
And then get my ass-kicked again, because fuck those guys and their lasers.
A FEW FAILURES LATER.
What's weird though, is that there's extra lives along the way inside semi-hidden fairies, so every time I fail at the mid-boss my count goes up by one. The game's trying to trap me in here, giving me no hope of a humane game over!
You saw how many hits the pink chicken laughed off in that earlier GIF, now I've got to hit the green one that many times and then some, all while dodging upgraded super-blasts at point-blank range.
I guess that losing a continue now would put me back to the start of the level again, but with seven lives in the bank that's not something I'll have to worry about for a while.
SOON, AT THE LEVEL 3 BOSS.
Well there you go, that's half of Fausseté Amour, apparently. I found to a be a pretty easy ride except for the mid-bosses and I expect that someone better at platformers could probably make it through the whole game in around an hour; less if they skipped the cutscenes.
I can only judge the game on the first three stages but it seems... alright actually. The character moves a bit slow, but she's precise at least. She's got a decent amount of mid-air control and doesn't tend to throw herself off cliffs until she absolutely has to. Personally I got bored with the platforming early and was looking for any excuse to quit, but I'm not sure that's entirely the game's fault. It's competently made, I just wasn't doing anything in it I hadn't done a thousand times before for the most part. Some interesting level design might have helped, something I could actually use my grappling hook spin move on.
As soon as the old wizard's gone the game pretty much features an all-female cast, and... well you can see the amount of restraint (or lack of it) the developers have shown for yourself. It's not hentai by a long shot, but it gets 'sexy' in the weirdest places. I've no idea what the story was actually about, but it seems that the actors were playing it straight and I get the impression that they knew what they were doing with their lines. For 1993 it's actually impressive how terrible they're not.
I'd say it's probably worth a look if you like platformers, more so if you're fluent in Japanese, but I've personally got no interest in playing it further.
PS. leave a comment if you want.