Super Adventures in Gaming Replay - Game 7
It's been nine months since I last played this game, if you can even call what I did 'playing'. I mostly just wandered into zombies. I doubt I even made it more than four screens into the first level.
But that was then.
I've played a lot of platformers since then. Games like Super Meat Boy, the Castlevania games, Ninja Gaiden, Shadow of the Beast... I must have gotten at least a little better at the damn things by now surely?
FOUR MINUTES LATER.
Back to the start of the game then.
The game's a platformer, and I control a little knight called Arthur (of Marvel vs. Capcom 3 fame!) with two hit points and infinite lances to throw at things that bother him. I can't steer him in the air mid-jump, but I can double jump to make a sudden change of direction.
The tricky part of this is that while I'm focused on not being pounced by the dog, those two skulls down there are spitting fireballs at me. But I can't steer in the air, so if I jump to dodge the fireballs, I'll likely end up landing on the dog.
They've already shattered Arthur's armour and left him in his boxers. The next hit will kill him.
SOON, AFTER THE NEXT HIT KILLED HIM
Weirdly there's a chest there now that wasn't there before. I guess they must just appear randomly.
"Wow you've been playing that same section of the game for a long time Ray. Here, have some better armour so at least you'll have a chance of seeing something new in the game... nah, I'm just fucking with you."
In fact I'm half convinced that they even put this slowdown in deliberately to throw off my timing.
This section's so easy that they must be giving me a chance to rest for a second. Hopefully they'll give me a checkpoint too while they're at it.
The game has a limited number of credits, but I must be collecting more of them somehow as I go, as I should have way less than that considering how many times I've gotten Arthur killed. The game doesn't want to let me escape.
But I have learned something. It seems I've actually been triggering these chests to appear myself by standing in a certain place. Like in this case, walking close to the right side of the rock is the trigger.
Now I'm stuck trying to climb back up while getting shot from both sides by fireballs. What a bloody stupid place for a ladder.
Anyway, I used my awesome reflexes to dodge this clam's attacks, then went and got myself killed by the next one.
I especially hate the way it immediately scrolls over to the right, like the part I'm stuck on isn't even worthy of its attention.
"You don't want to see the boring water level, come look at this over here... oh man, you'll love this part when you get here," it whispers, into my mind.
Fortunately it wore off after a few seconds. But I can't believe I'm still having trouble with the first section of this game. I guess I really haven't gotten any better at playing games in the last few months. I'm playing on the regular difficulty by the way, like I do with every game to keep things fair. But I did try the easiest difficulty for a bit, and I honestly can't tell the difference.
EIGHT MINUTES LATER.
TWO SECONDS LATER.
Back to the start of the game then.
OH THANK FUCK I'VE FINALLY REACHED A CHECKPOINT! YES! It took me an hour and ten minutes to get here, but I have finally gotten out of that forest!
One moment of happiness in 70 minutes of gameplay, doing good there Super Ghouls'N Ghosts.
I'm not entirely sure I could have been reasonably expected to react to that in time.
After killing the evil orange plant things blocking the way first, of course.
Super Ghouls'N Ghosts is like running a marathon uphill. On ice. Sure it's possible to make progress, but it's exhausting and painful, and one slip is going to send you right back down again. Somehow I doubt most people who've played the game ever saw much of it. Then again, I suppose most people who'd try it these days know exactly what they're getting into. The challenge obsessed uber gamers who've actually finished the game (twice for the good ending) probably even love it.