box art (exotica.org.uk), and mirrored it on the sides to make it fit the wider aspect ratio.
I did actually press the yellow button for instructions, but they turned out to be less than helpful. They didn't even tell me the basic controls. I think I'll be keeping my expectations low for this one.
And yet I don't remember anything about the game.
In fact the bundle was actually called the Dangerous Streets pack. It also came with Oscar, Diggers and Wing Commander, but Dangerous Streets was the name they stuck on the box. It's like Commodore wanted their CD32 to fail.
But to be honest, my expectations were at rock bottom. This really is pretty damn bad, and it looks even worse in motion.
I really don't get what I'm doing here, it's like the buttons just do random things. I had to stop playing for a second to make sure I wasn't just watching a demo.
I'm going to have to quit and see if there's a training mode or something, because this is ridiculous.
It seems that the four face buttons are low punch, high punch, block... and the other seems to do something different whatever direction I'm holding. And the shoulder buttons are speed up and slow down. Whether that's just for my character or the entire game I don't know. Or care.
Up is a different attack, and I can only jump forwards diagonally. Down is duck, but down and back is another attack. I think.
I'm not even going to tap the low punch button, I'm just going to hold it down and see how far that gets me.
He doesn't seem that tough, but I don't like that expression on his face. He looks like he knows something I don't. Also his trousers are unfastened, which is never a good sign.
He's a robot! A robot with a miniature version of himself inside! I... have no idea how to even begin to fight a creature like this.
Oh wait, I think I have an idea...
Hey, this is the first level again isn't it? Maybe it's my own character's background.
What the hell kind of kick is that? Get your ass down here and get low punched.
But... there's something wrong. My low punch isn't working! He's using too many ranged attacks on me.
It looks like ass, it plays like ass, and I finished most of the game just by holding down a button. It may well be possible to finish the entire game by holding down a different button. It's likely that this isn't the actually the worst fighting game ever made, but I kinda want it to be. If only because it'd mean that I won't accidentally stumble across anything worse.