Apparently the lead designer wrote a Star Trek fan film, so I expect this is going to be fairly faithful to the franchise. The music sounds like the actual Deep Space Nine theme, and that looks like the right space station, so it's doing well so far.
Starfleet Academy and Elite Force for example) put the player in the shoes of Lieutenant Bland, chiselled generic space hero, who gets to go on an adventure alongside everyone's favourite heroes from the show.
But fuck that, I'm Commander Benjamin Sisko himself, and this is my office.
Eventually I realise he's not going to stop calling me, so I should probably go find 'security' and hear what he has to say. First step: leave office.
The music on the other hand, is nothing like the soundtrack to the series. For one thing it's catchy and tuneful. Exactly what I want to be listening to when I'm playing my ridiculous Star Trek platformer. Okay, now where the hell is the way out of this place?
This corridors looks like it's supposed to be in a complete loop, but sadly it doesn't wrap around at the edges. Nice parallax scrolling though.
Right, what was I doing again? Oh yeah, I'm looking for 'security'.
ONE TRIP ALL THE WAY DOWN BACK TO THE DOOR LATER.
Prince of Persia, so getting to the top wasn't a struggle. I wouldn't want see what happens if he falls though.
Hang on, what's this? This guy's acting very suspiciously. I think I'm going to have to go over and have a word.
The bad news is, all those other green dots showing up on my radar are bombs too, and the timer's running.
These guys are a pain in the ass, but easy to take down if I've got my phaser equipped and I'm paying attention. The trouble is that half the time I'm not paying attention, I'm looking at my radar trying to find the next bomb.
The trouble is that whenever I pick up a bomb I get mere seconds to flush it, and the ejection tubes don't have any radar dots.
Those purple things are the ejection tubes I'll have to run to each time I find a bomb. There's no way I'm going to remember where they are though.
- I can't quick draw my phaser and gun down my enemies if I've forgotten to assign it to a hand.
- I have to hold down A to use the lifts too. So half the time when I'm trying to move a lift around, I end up bringing my items up instead. And I can't make a quick escape when my inventory screen's open.
Still, I'm just glad I found the damn tube for once. Half the time I end up totally lost and get blown up by the bomb in my hand.
Okay I admit, it's my fault. If I was properly centered on the lift the menu wouldn't come up. But I don't have time to properly center myself on every lift, I've got a time limit here!
Prince of Persia now. There's no lift to ride here, so I have to jump from ledge to ledge to reach the bombs. Then back down again to flush them.
A FEW DEATHS LATER.
I should probably quit now, but I can't help being implausibly curious about what's on the next level. It can't all be bomb disposal to the end, right?
TWO AND A HALF SECTIONS OF BOMB DISPOSAL LATER.
And then when I find the bomb I've got seconds to jump all the way back down again.
The hero sprite seems a bit invisible in these shots, but he shows up pretty well in game thanks to the parallax scrolling background. These lift rails look way too much like platforms I can stand on though.
THREE MILLION MISSED JUMPS LATER.
Level complete and I NEVER HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN.
I'm sure this doesn't actually go on for two hours, but that's what it felt like.
I know it's a Star Trek game and everything, but I really wouldn't have minded if there was less talking and more gameplay. Don't get me wrong, if (for instance) Bethesda had actually made that Star Trek RPG they were thinking about before deciding they loved Fallout more I'd be all for talking to those NPCs. But this is just annoying.
I'm free, I'm finally free! Free to jump around these shitty looking wooden beams covered in thorns and evil fruit that jumps off and tries to kill me!
And then three steps later I fall down an invisible underwater pit and instantly die.
And then they never made another Star Trek platformer again. I hope.